I started this blog this past December when my mom had surgery on her brain to remove a tumor in hopes I would be able to turn to it as a place to express myself.
So bare with me, some things I say, some things I think you may not agree with and I don’t expect you too, but know these are my words and this is my heart I’m opening up. So here goes nothing.
I hate cancer.
And I hate everything is has done to my family. I hate how it has changed my outlook on my life, I hate how much pain it has brought to my mothers life and every thing it is taking away from my future.
I am so angry.
and so gut wrenchingly sad I don’t even know how to possibly give anyone a perspective or insight
So here is what cancer is doing:
My mom has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. She has been fighting gracefully and diligently since November of 2013. In the past three weeks we were given some pretty hard news. This cancer has now spread into the fluid in her brain.
And now here we are. Three months later we are being told an amount of time we have left to be with her. We are being told her treatment options are minimal and not to cure anything, they are only palliative…only to buy us more time.
I’m specifically not giving the time frame because I don’t think its important for others to know, I don’t think its necessary. It is not everyone business. People get so focused on the numbers when I mention the time that they cant even see passed it.
I want people to see that we are trying to focus on our moments together and the time we do have. I see families make this mistake day in and day out, for those of you who don’t know I work for hospice; I work with families and specifically children who are grieving every single day. I see the heartache death brings to the table for every person connected.
And now, my heart is aching.
My mother is now undergoing whole brain radiation, pushing through to gain as much time for her family and herself as she can. The amount of strength this woman has amazes me constantly. I only hope I have a fraction of her tenacity and determination.
So, I suppose I’m still Steady in Hope. I’m just hoping for more specific things now.
I hope my mother follows whatever path she believes she needs too
I hope I am able to have the strength to continue
I hope cancer is cured one day.
Kindly,
KC
So bare with me, some things I say, some things I think you may not agree with and I don’t expect you too, but know these are my words and this is my heart I’m opening up. So here goes nothing.
I hate cancer.
And I hate everything is has done to my family. I hate how it has changed my outlook on my life, I hate how much pain it has brought to my mothers life and every thing it is taking away from my future.
I am so angry.
and so gut wrenchingly sad I don’t even know how to possibly give anyone a perspective or insight
So here is what cancer is doing:
My mom has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. She has been fighting gracefully and diligently since November of 2013. In the past three weeks we were given some pretty hard news. This cancer has now spread into the fluid in her brain.
And now here we are. Three months later we are being told an amount of time we have left to be with her. We are being told her treatment options are minimal and not to cure anything, they are only palliative…only to buy us more time.
I’m specifically not giving the time frame because I don’t think its important for others to know, I don’t think its necessary. It is not everyone business. People get so focused on the numbers when I mention the time that they cant even see passed it.
I want people to see that we are trying to focus on our moments together and the time we do have. I see families make this mistake day in and day out, for those of you who don’t know I work for hospice; I work with families and specifically children who are grieving every single day. I see the heartache death brings to the table for every person connected.
And now, my heart is aching.
My mother is now undergoing whole brain radiation, pushing through to gain as much time for her family and herself as she can. The amount of strength this woman has amazes me constantly. I only hope I have a fraction of her tenacity and determination.
So, I suppose I’m still Steady in Hope. I’m just hoping for more specific things now.
I hope my mother follows whatever path she believes she needs too
I hope I am able to have the strength to continue
I hope cancer is cured one day.
Kindly,
KC